


with a fist-fight attitude

by crookedspoon



Series: [1mw] Weekend Feeling [58]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Community: 1-million-words, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Jealousy, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, POV Harley Quinn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 05:25:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16443734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: Harley's doing Batsie a favor by keepin' her puddin' off the streets. He really should be thanking her, not trying to ruin everything the way he usually does.





	with a fist-fight attitude

**Author's Note:**

> For "I Put a Spell on You" at 1mw's weekend challenge and #59 "Grit" at anythingdrabble.

When Batman storms their latest hideout, Harley has been expecting him. In fact, she's all but invited him. He's just so _easy._ A couple of hostages here, a couple of bomb threats there, and he comes running like a trained dog.

It's something her puddin's always counted on. Well, no longer.

"What have you done to the Joker?" Batsie asks, uncurling from his crouch. She can hear him gnash his teeth from the other end of the room.

"Excellent question. I was hopin' you'd take an interest in that."

Harley leans back on her throne of jacks-in-the-boxes and crosses her legs leisurely. Her puddin' is kneeling at her feet and nuzzling her knees. She scratches the back of his head, like she'd do with her babies if they weren't so busy gnawing at the femur she's supplied them with.

"Ivy?" B asks, terse as ever. Harley rolls her eyes, yet her pooh quells her annoyance. How delightful it is to see him ignore the Big Bad Bat.

"In the broadest of senses. She set me up with her contact in the world of magic, who agreed right away. I can be _very_ persuasive when I want to be, but the woman didn't even need convincing. Practically forced her solution on me. Who was I to refuse? Guess she did the math, something _you_ still seem to have to do."

Her puddin' gazes up at her lovingly with large, dark eyes – eyes that spare no glance at the Caped Crusader, and isn't that just a thrill? It was all worth it in the end.

"I'm taking him back to Arkham," Batsie growls. Harley wants to rip off his stupid pointy ears and shove them down his throat. He's the whole reason she did this in the first place. Or the biggest part of it, anyway.

"What? Missin' the old him already?" she spits, venom on her tongue. "Don't you ever get tired of runnin' after my puddin', tryin' to figure out his nefarious plans before he sets them in motion? Tryin' to save people from his death traps and failin'? Well guess what, I'm doin' you a favor here. You should be thankin' me, sweet cheeks."

"This isn't what you want, Quinn."

"Oh, and how would you know what I want, huh? You a mind reader now? If so, I hope you're enjoyin' the visuals 'cause they ain't for the squeamish."

All she's ever wanted was to have a few hours alone with her man in a Bat-free zone, where they didn't have to worry about tomorrow and how keep out from under the Bat's watchful eye. There wasn't a day her puddin' _didn't_ mention his arch-frenemy, when he didn't want to attract his attention. It had been exciting at first, this bitter rivalry, until she noticed it wasn't bitter so much as frustrated.

So she put a stop to it, simple as that. 

"Be jealous all you like, Batfreak, but Joker's all mine now and you can't have him back."

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Suffering You" by 16volt.
> 
> Come say hi if you like: [dreamwidth](https://crookedspoon.dreamwidth.org/) | [pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/crookedspoon) | [tumblr](https://crookedspoonfic.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/crookedteaspoon)


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